You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
