New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The air was thick with penises
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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