Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize