And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
