oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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