Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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