im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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