don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
