Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
