she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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