Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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