what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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