So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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