for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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