Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
