Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
