bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
