Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
