Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
