It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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