I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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