Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
