Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
