It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
