When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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