STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize