So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
