Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you inspire me to be a worse person
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
