I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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