Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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