i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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