she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize