Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need a beard to bite.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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