Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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