I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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