I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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