omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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