I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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