what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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