Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
