Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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