Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
