I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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