Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
