I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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