I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
