remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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