I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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