my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
foreskin is a definite game changer
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
