So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
