I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
