I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
