Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
