I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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