well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
