Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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