you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
