does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
