Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
