we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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