Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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