this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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